The other day a client came in with
a support worker from a hostel. “I’ve
come for the speed dating event” said the client. Our reception staff were confused. Although we offer many services, none of them
are speed dating and, to be honest, never will be. The reception staff were given the contact
name of “Leila”.
Leila
is extremely unlikely to run a speed dating event for anyone. Therefore, she was as confused as the
reception staff when she came to see the client. Leila explained that there was no speed
dating today, nor on any day in the foreseeable future. However, we were running an art exhibition
which was open to residents of local hostels.
The client was noticeably deflated.
“I’m not interested in art – I wanted to do speed dating. Please can you let me know if you are
offering speed dating again.”
By
coincidence, we had been talking about dating that very week. When we ask clients what they want and how we
can help them, generally their answer is very simple: job, a house and a
partner. I think that’s what most
people want, isn’t it? We have certainly
had some success at helping out with the first two.
However,
the whole issue of dating is a bit awkward to be honest. Have you had your most healthy, happy and
fulfilling relationships when you’ve been at a low ebb? On the other hand, have
you also been supported through difficult times by a loving committed
partner? Have you been devastated at the
ending of a relationship, maybe even moving out and staying with friends whilst
you get things sorted?
In
a study commissioned by Shelter, 41% of people on the streets cited
relationship breakdown as their reason for being homeless. A further 28% were asked to leave the family
home.[1]
So, although we are never likely to run Speed Dating, we recognise the
importance of helping our clients with their relationships. During the year we’ll be seeking funding to
develop work to help clients overcome some of the grief and sense of loss
associated with relationship breakdown.
We’ll be investigating how to help clients get back in touch with
relatives and children where it’s safe and appropriate. Maybe we could even offer workshops on dating
skills - you never know.
And
– for the curious amongst you, Leila had attended a professional networking
“speed dating” event a few weeks ago.
She met someone from the hostel where the client lived and told him
about the art exhibition. When the
information about the exhibition was circulated, wires were crossed and the
rest is history.
[1]http://england.shelter.org.uk/campaigns/why_we_campaign/tackling_homelessness/What_causes_homelessness
